Compared with black, white and Latino men, Asian men receive fewer matches and messages from women on the dating site.
That’s not to say online dating can’t work for Asian men.
Alan Montecillo logged on to Ok Cupid and started filling out his profile.
He wrote down his height (6 feet), listed his interests (podcasts, basketball, reading) and included photos of himself outdoors.
This alleviated the feeling of being overwhelmed and helped him get to know the person he was interested in.
Maltempo compared this approach to meeting people at a mixer, where you can gauge your chemistry with only one person at a time.
He needed online dating only to “work once,” he says, and it did.
Montecillo ended up including his ethnicity on his profile, but he removed it after an exhausting period where he received a response about once in every eight or nine messages. you can’t help but wonder sometimes.” [Black women face prejudice every day.Maltempo says women occasionally made assumptions about him based on his race.“When [I was] dating non-Asians, sometimes they were interested in exotic factors that I’m not a white guy,” he said.So I dumped him.] In a recent online survey of 900 Asian American men, Liu found that Asian men frequently feel stereotyped as lacking masculinity; they also said they’re perceived as undesirable and as too passive.Part of the problem, she says, is that the white American man has become the standard for what is attractive. There are few Asian American male leads in Hollywood, and only recently have more Asian characters been cast as love interests.“Even if you give them a little bit of room in terms of looks, that still leaves a really high bar for Asian men to be considered attractive at all.” To improve his success rate on Match.com, Maltempo created a rule for himself.Rather than cast a wide net, he would message just one woman per week.He asked himself: “Would people notice [me] if I was a large bearded white guy who likes hiking? I don’t need it in online dating, too.] After nearly three years on Ok Cupid, Montecillo met his current girlfriend, who is Caucasian.His approach was to emphasize his interests (he and his girlfriend are both big fans of Radiotopia podcasts); and keep his profile short but interesting.“Maybe they’d talk about how they’re really into anime, manga or ‘Have you seen that scary Japanese or Korean movie?’ The media interests rather than culture interests made it kind of shallow.” The bias Asian men encounter in dating bleeds into other parts of their lives as well.