All beginnings are lovely – or so the sage proclaims. Two individuals come together – attraction, lust, love, personality styles, personal and family histories, attachment, and lifestyles collide – and there you are in the middle of a daring, challenging, and steamy relationship.If this ship becomes a timeless elegant regatta or a wrack is heavily determined by the personality styles of the involved partners’.“One day I’m her king the next moment I am no good.There is simply no consistency.” My view: “Nice summary – exactly! ” An individual with BPD has a frantic fear of abandonment – which doesn’t help the relationship.Jodi Arias – in my opinion, – a good example of a woman with quiet BPD (she functions superficially well but her chameleon-like façade breaks open once her relational views are challenged) murdered her ex-boyfriend Travis Alexander; Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction attempted to murder her former lover but failed and found her own death.Most real-life relationships with a partner who has BPD are not deadly.
Plus co-occurring disorders such as substance and eating disturbances, reckless spending and mood disorders add to the emotional burden.Often the individual with BPD threatens self-harm or cuts to release tension.She will relentlessly reach out and obsessively try to reestablish the broken bond if the healthy mate decides to break up with her.Her heightened sense of emotions and difficulty to soothe herself leads to major drama even when a partner is willing to stay and work with her to overcome the challenges.Many individuals with BPD have a history of brief and intensive relationships that ended prematurely and badly. Quite often the healthy partner leaves (or runs); he can’t deal with the emotional outbursts and relational roller coaster.Linehan (1993) developed a treatment approach for BPD called Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT).It’s a combination of Eastern Mindfulness Training and Western Cognitive Behavior Therapy.What’s the major challenge of BPD: It comes seldom alone!Substance and eating disturbances co-occur and mood disorders such as Unipolar Depression and Bipolar disorder generally require a combined treatment consisting of a medication regime and therapy.The film Fatal Attraction (quite an excellent performance by Glenn Close) and the recent court case of Jodi Arias come to mind.What do all the films and print stories have in common? Dating a person with BPD is not part of your deal – or so you thought.