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There’s a certain selfish, perhaps self-indulgent quality to this.

She is really only thinking of her own needs and not the needs of her son or her daughter-in-law for that matter.

When the triangle consists of son-wife-mother, the narcissistic mother’s control in her son’s marriage is bound to create marital problems for him and his wife.

You married a man who has not yet separated emotionally from his mother. One very obvious sign is she (mother) will be trying to control her son, you, your marriage, up close and from a distance not long after you’ve married her son.

The message to you, his wife (or lover, if you want to drop the married part) is, you can marry my son but I stay number one in his emotional life. The problem is, your husband has not yet left his mother. If you don’t leave your mother you don’t have the emotional space to be truly married.

Number one, she has little or nothing to give, and number two, you (wife) are the competitor (in her mind at least) for her son’s adoration and affections.

Number three, unfortunately, you can’t really make up for past love life disappointment by getting an adult person to ‘parent’ you.

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